What Students Really Need to Hear

It’s 4 a.m.  I’ve struggled for the last hour to go to sleep.  But, I can’t.  Yet again, I am tossing and turning, unable to shut down my brain.  Why?  Because I am stressed about my students.  Really stressed.  I’m so stressed that I can only think to write down what I really want to say — the real truth I’ve been needing to say — and vow to myself that I will let my students hear what I really think tomorrow.

This is what students really need to hear:

First, you need to know right now that I care about you. In fact, I care about you more than you may care about yourself.  And I care not just about your grades or your test scores, but about you as a person. And, because I care, I need to be honest with you. Do I have permission to be honest with you — both in what I say and how I say it?

Here’s the thing: I lose sleep because of you.  Every week.

Before I tell you why, you should understand the truth about school. You see, the main event of school is not academic learning. It never has been. It never will be. And, if you find someone who is passionate in claiming that it is about academics, that person is lying to himself or herself and may genuinely believe that lie. Yes, algebra, essay writing, Spanish, the judicial process —  all are important and worth knowing. But they are not the MAIN event.

The main event is learning how to deal with the harshness of life when it gets difficult — how to overcome problems as simple as a forgotten locker combination, to obnoxious peers, to gossip, to people doubting you, to asking for help in the face of self-doubt, to pushing yourself to concentrate when a million other thoughts and temptations are fingertips away.

It is your resilience in conquering the main event — adversity — that truly prepares you for life after school. Because, mark my words, school is not the most challenging time you will have in life. You will face far greater challenges than these. Sure, you will have times more amazing than you can imagine, but you will also confront incomparable tragedy, frustration, and fear in the years to come.

But, you shouldn’t be worried about the fact that you will face great adversities. You should be worried because you’re setting yourself up to fail at overcoming them. Here’s the real reason I lose hours of sleep worrying about you: You are failing the main event of school. You are quitting.  You may not think you are quitting, but you are because quitting wears many masks.

For some, you quit by throwing the day away and not even trying to write a sentence or a fraction because you think it doesn’t matter or you can’t or there’s no point. But it does. What you write is not the main event. The fact that you do take charge of your own fear and doubt in order to write when you are challenged — THAT is the main event.

Some of you quit by skipping class on your free education. Being punctual to fit the mold of the classroom is not the main event of showing up. The main event is delaying your temptation and investing in your own intelligence — understanding that sometimes short-term pain creates long-term gain and that great people make sacrifices for a greater good.

For others, you quit by being rude and disrespectful to adults in the hallway who ask you to come to class. Bowing to authority is not the main event. The main event is learning how to problem solve maturely, not letting your judgement be tainted by the stains of emotion.

I see some of you quit by choosing not to take opportunities to work harder and pass a class, no matter how far down you are. The main event is not getting a number to tell you you are worthy. The main event is pulling your crap together and making hard choices and sacrifices when things seem impossible.  It is finding hope in the hopeless, courage in the chasm, guts in the grave.

What you need to see is that every time you take the easy way out, you are building a habit of quitting. And it will destroy your future and it will annihilate your happiness if you let it.   Our society cares nothing for quitters.  Life will let you die alone, depressed, and poor if you can’t man or woman up enough to deal with hardship.  You are either the muscle or the dirt.  You either take resistance and grow stronger or blow in the wind and erode.

As long as you are in my life, I am not going to let quitting be easy for you.  I am going to challenge you, confront you, push you, and coach you.  You can whine.  You can throw a tantrum.  You can shout and swear and stomp and cry.  And the next day, guess what?  I will be here waiting — smiling and patient — to give you a fresh start.  Because you are worth it.

So, do yourself a favor: Step up.  No more excuses.  No more justifications.  No blaming.  No quitting.  Just pick your head up.  Rip the cords out of your ears.  Grab the frickin’ pencil and let’s do this.

— C. Mielke


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1,806 responses to “What Students Really Need to Hear”

  1. understood this rather late in my school life… amazing piece!

  2. What a fantastic article! I work in education and can relate to it, however I think everyone can take a morsel great of wisdom and inspiration from your article no matter of their age and situation. I re blogged it on thebookinstinct.com 😉

  3. Incredible. I wish you had been my teacher! Your students are indeed fortunate to have you. I wish you every success.

  4. You said it. Being a teacher and trainer, I can relate to what you say. 100%

  5. I hope all students have a teacher like you.

  6. Reblogged this on Capturing Beauty For A Cause and commented:
    I have thought about going into teaching for a while now and this is something that I find very reassuring. I have been fortunate to have a family that valued education as a whole and this guy hits it spot on when it comes to the perspective we should have towards it!
    Thank you Chase, this needed to be said.

  7. […] done early? Read THIS. It is words of truth from a teacher. I feel the exact same […]

  8. Be sure to also read “What Teachers Really Need to Hear” which is also very true and is much more useful in terms of posing realistic solutions to the problems in education today. The ‘problem’ is not the kids. It’s _never_ been the kids. It’s…oh just read this. He said it much better than I can:

    http://www.techedupteacher.com/what-teachers-really-need-to-hear/

    (nope, that’s not my blog)

  9. […] math question: What are the odds that I should happen to check Twitter just after reading an article about the role of educators and then happen to have the top Tweet on my feed be the Mankato Free Press reporting that the […]

  10. Persistence: the key to all success in life. If parents don’t teach it (and they should), then teachers must do so. Good thoughts. As a child psychologist, I will read your posts with interest.

  11. really like this !!!

  12. Reblogged this on amarllyis.

  13. Reblogged this on just a teen girl † and commented:
    This blog is actually inspirational…. especially for anyone currently struggling with the pressures of exam stress or any stress and just wants to fall down and cry and give up! You can do it!!!!!

  14. This has really encouraged me, currently struggling with exams and the pressure and was very close to giving up! I came on here to post a blog of my own and thought for a change I’d blog my blog then have a look at some other blogs and your’s came up and all i can say is oh im so happy it did! I wish every person could read this and every teacher could say something like this to people in their class. because ultimately I think everyone needs to hear this from their teacher. Thank you for writing such a inspirational blog.

  15. I was lucky enough to have had a student of mine email me a link to this post. Thank you for saying what needs to be said…I am sharing this with my colleagues and then my students.

  16. Reblogged this on I think, I over think! and commented:
    It’s what we all should’ve heard long back..

  17. Absolutely inspiring! I teach freshmen in college and am an academic advisor to freshmen and sophomores. Students have no idea the stress they bring us for all of the reasons you said! I am saving this piece for inspiration when those times come!

  18. treasure brooks Avatar
    treasure brooks

    Mind blowing! This Is a terrific article. I agree with everything you wrote especially that “The main event is learning how to deal with the harshness of life when it gets difficult.” This article is very inspiring and helpful for students as well as myself. What encouraged you to give students this information ?

    1. I had a handful (a two-scoops handful) of students who were perfectly capable — mentally and emotionally — of not dropping out of HA but were making decisions that were withering away their potential. They were skipping to get high, accosting even the most supportive of teachers who tried to get them not to skip, and etc. I couldn’t sleep because I just wanted to be honest with how I felt about their potential. So, I decided not to just keep it pent in. As the great Lauryn Hill said, “Fantasy is what we want, but reality is what we need.”

      1. treasure brooks Avatar
        treasure brooks

        Understood! (: How long have you been teaching ?

      2. I’ve been teaching for six years and counting 🙂

  19. Hello, how’s your day going? I really like how your straight forward and stating all the facts that students really need to hear. What ever made you want to be a teacher and what grade do you teach?

    1. Thanks Briana 🙂 I decided to teach because I was frustrated with my own teachers. I was a punk student and I don’t think my teachers really knew how to channel my energy. I only had one or two educators in High School that made me feel like I could do more with my talent or energy. So, when I was at my most frustrated, a light-bulb went off and I decided I can’t complain if I’m not willing to do something to fix it. I appreciate your questions 🙂

  20. What a inspiring and true article made by a teacher who must have a personal relation with each and every student . Im a senior and i agree what you have made for your students and i also believe that the personal experiences in school that some teachers cannot teach also improve our future capabilities in lifes future encounters. Giving up is not a option in life where we all have to be strong for the next generation so they can surpass us and become the teachers of the new generation and so on !

  21. Perfect. As a teacher or a parent this is all so true. Your words are wonderful to read and will be passed on to my learners.

  22. Read this to my Senior class. Very well put!

  23. Reblogged this on blessedx5ks and commented:
    Awesome eyeopening thoughts of an educator to his students. Students: you really are cared for.

  24. I am a teacher, parent, author, and musician. You speak to everything I do. I know your pain and also the joy you experience every time you see a person begin to dig themselves out of oblivion. I am going to link your post to my website. We all need to hear your words!

  25. micheal weaver Avatar
    micheal weaver

    I like how you said the main event is learning how to deal with the harshness of life when it gets difficult and how to overcome problems. I agree with you when you said you quit by being rude and disrespectful to adults in the hallway who ask you to come to class. What made you want to write this post?

    1. To be honest Michael, there were about 8 specific students who I lost sleep over because they have SO much potential but kept pushing themselves back from taking easy ways out. I had these rolling through my mind all night. Since writing helps me process out thoughts so I can sleep, I got up at 4 a.m. and jotted down all my thoughts. Thanks for asking!

  26. First of, I really wish I had you as a teacher.
    Secondly, a sincere thank you. College has been the biggest struggle of my life and I refuse to quit. Thank you for giving me a different perspective. I will cherish this for a very long time.

  27. You put this so well…

  28. Amazing, truly inspirational

  29. As a student myself I see the importance of learning what is, ‘not in the books’ because life is so much more than a report or presentation. As a go through college, I see the increased need to be able to interact and keep your cool because society is not as forgiving as high school. Thank You for your words.

  30. A great message to so many young people who are missing out on the main event by ‘withdrawing’ – our young people need continuous confidence & self-esteem building exercises embedding in education. We are hard wired to avoid risk and if we don’t educate / support young people to overcome this hard wiring we are failing them. Good luck with everything and I look forward to hearing more from you – Thanks Bernadette

  31. Eleanor winston Avatar
    Eleanor winston

    In this post you can really tell how much how he really cares about his career as a teacher. How much he cares about his students. Assuming by this post you can also tell he has had some unhappy students, some that have a hard time at school, some who don’t care. This artical has a really good message, not to give up. And how quiting comes in different ways not just the obvious ways. Which makes you really think about if you have quit before. I never thought that school prepared us not only by knowledge but by social IQ, dealing with problems and handleing it

  32. Reblogged this on vuyelwa5xumablog's Blog and commented:
    ♡♡♡♡♡

  33. Wow that was really inspiraring ! I agree with you completely because to man up or to women up to the challenges that are put up against you only makes you who you are. What school do you teach at ?

    1. Plainwell High School in Plainwell, MI

  34. So what about the students that already have real-life hardships? There are MANY students that are facing real-life issues (mainly family issues) daily. Thus, I can see why these students would enjoy school for the social aspect but not understand why or how learning the Pythagorean theorem will be important for their lives. And if they don’t want to learn it, they may not necessarily take that as quitting but instead take it as “I have more important things to worry about in my life already than understanding this math for a test grade”. Yes, I understand that school staff can help these students all they can and try to make their lives better and provide them with motivation and determination (like the real-life story that the movie “Freedom Writers” is based on), however this doesn’t always work out for every student. Hence, a better way to maybe make these kinds of students enjoy school would be by helping them explore their creative side through classes like creative writing, art, music, and sports because they allow students to both express and push themselves.

  35. So very true. Thank you for sharing.

  36. Great blog ! so school is teaching you and also preparing you for the life after school , i like how you mentioned academic skills is not the main event in school its learning how to deal with the harshness of life when it gets difficult. In all , Great points and back up reasons.

  37. I like how you said “the main event of school is not academic learning” cause most people think that’s all it’s for. I agree some of us do quit even though we made it more than half way through the class or school year. When you were in school did u ever feel like giving up after you made it so far?

    1. Absolutely, I quit. Often. I skipped class, pulled pranks, talked back to teachers. And, one could argue that I turned out okay — when in truth, I missed out on so much knowledge, experience, and opportunity that I will never get back. It was only when I stopped quitting in college did I really start to see and progress towards my potential. My hope in sharing this is to help people see a certain perspective sooner than I did. Thanks for the question 🙂

  38. Dear teacher

    I lick the way you say for us to” man up or woman up.” i know how you feel when students do not like to do there work also not listen to you. i have seen that at my school before and it was tier able for me to see the student in my class just lacking off and talk to there friends in class when there was work to do. i was one of those student that was not doing my work but sometimes i do my work plus when it come to math i never do my math work because it was hard for me to understand the work. i really strongly agree with you because we have to understand how the teacher feel about us passing high school and to meet aware fitter in life.
    How will you feel if you see your students graduate and finally reach to collage or reach there dream that they want to be in life. Now i am doing my work so i can graduate high school so i can reach my goal in life.

  39. Reblogged this on Valora Holmes and commented:
    A wonderfully inspiring read… lets not quit!

  40. Hello what a amazing story! i like the part when you say quitting wears many masks. I agree i wish there many teachers that are like you. Has your students improved?

    1. The students for whom this was intended have been making some great growth. By no means was this conversation the “cure all.” I have had many heart-to-heart talks with them throughout the year. But, this one had a different kind of honesty and developed our relationship in a whole different way. Some are still struggling. Most, though, are on track to graduate. They are taking ownership for when they are letting themselves slip. And, most importantly, they are being more honest with ME. I appreciate the question and the kind words 🙂

  41. Hello this has to be one of the most motivational blogs I have ever read it has changed my opinion on so much and every chance I get I will try to push myself to reach above and beyond the ordinary to prove that i’m not just an ordinary person!

  42. I agree with you, what a fantastic article you gave great points everything you said is so true, It is a very inspiring piece and I appreciate you for sharing this

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