What Students Really Need to Hear

What Students Really Need to Hear

June 4, 2024

It’s 4 a.m. I’ve struggled for the last hour to go to sleep. But, I can’t. Yet again, I am tossing and turning, unable to shut down my brain. Why? Because I am stressed about my students. Really stressed. I’m so stressed that I can only think to write down what I really want to say — the real truth I’ve been needing to say — and vow to myself that I will let my students hear what I really think tomorrow.

This is what students really need to hear:

First, you need to know right now that I care about you. In fact, I care about you more than you may care about yourself. And I care not just about your grades or your test scores, but about you as a person. And, because I care, I need to be honest with you. Do I have permission to be honest with you — both in what I say and how I say it?

Here’s the thing: I lose sleep because of you. Every week.

Before I tell you why, you should understand the truth about school. You see, the main event of school is not academic learning. It never has been. It never will be. And, if you find someone who is passionate in claiming that it is about academics, that person is lying to himself or herself and may genuinely believe that lie. Yes, algebra, essay writing, Spanish, the judicial process — all are important and worth knowing. But they are not the MAIN event.

The main event is learning how to deal with the harshness of life when it gets difficult — how to overcome problems as simple as a forgotten locker combination, to obnoxious peers, to gossip, to people doubting you, to asking for help in the face of self-doubt, to pushing yourself to concentrate when a million other thoughts and temptations are fingertips away.

It is your resilience in conquering the main event — adversity — that truly prepares you for life after school. Because, mark my words, school is not the most challenging time you will have in life. You will face far greater challenges than these. Sure, you will have times more amazing than you can imagine, but you will also confront incomparable tragedy, frustration, and fear in the years to come.

But, you shouldn’t be worried about the fact that you will face great adversities. You should be worried because you’re setting yourself up to fail at overcoming them. Here’s the real reason I lose hours of sleep worrying about you: You are failing the main event of school. You are quitting. You may not think you are quitting, but you are because quitting wears many masks.

For some, you quit by throwing the day away and not even trying to write a sentence or a fraction because you think it doesn’t matter or you can’t or there’s no point. But it does. What you write is not the main event. The fact that you do take charge of your own fear and doubt in order to write when you are challenged — THAT is the main event.

Some of you quit by skipping class on your free education. Being punctual to fit the mold of the classroom is not the main event of showing up. The main event is delaying your temptation and investing in your own intelligence — understanding that sometimes short-term pain creates long-term gain and that great people make sacrifices for a greater good.

For others, you quit by being rude and disrespectful to adults in the hallway who ask you to come to class. Bowing to authority is not the main event. The main event is learning how to problem solve maturely, not letting your judgement be tainted by the stains of emotion.

I see some of you quit by choosing not to take opportunities to work harder and pass a class, no matter how far down you are. The main event is not getting a number to tell you you are worthy. The main event is pulling your crap together and making hard choices and sacrifices when things seem impossible. It is finding hope in the hopeless, courage in the chasm, guts in the grave.

What you need to see is that every time you take the easy way out, you are building a habit of quitting. And it will destroy your future and it will annihilate your happiness if you let it. Our society cares nothing for quitters. Life will let you die alone, depressed, and poor if you can’t man or woman up enough to deal with hardship. You are either the muscle or the dirt. You either take resistance and grow stronger or blow in the wind and erode.

As long as you are in my life, I am not going to let quitting be easy for you. I am going to challenge you, confront you, push you, and coach you. You can whine. You can throw a tantrum. You can shout and swear and stomp and cry. And the next day, guess what? I will be here waiting — smiling and patient — to give you a fresh start. Because you are worth it.

So, do yourself a favor: Step up. No more excuses. No more justifications. No blaming. No quitting. Just pick your head up. Rip the cords out of your ears. Grab the frickin’ pencil and let’s do this.

— C. Mielke

➡️ Invite Chase to Speak at Your School or Event.

Chase Mielke

Blogs, Education, Learning, Motivation, Psychology, School, Teaching, truth

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1,806 responses to “What Students Really Need to Hear”

hatsyasaiph

May 9, 2014 at 7:26 am

Reblogged this on thinking2hard.com.

Reply
Mike McDougal

May 9, 2014 at 2:25 pm

*sigh* Perhaps it’s my contrarian nature or maybe just my general frustration with the group-think perception ‘we’ seem forced to adopt in regards to teachers, but I can’t be as over-the-top enthusiastic about this post. Let’s dissect this (a little academia trick I learned back in the day – before I knew the real reason for going to school):

“It’s 4 a.m. I’ve struggled for the last hour to go to sleep.”

Okay. So you went to bed at 3 a.m. That’s alarming. Either I’m over interpreting the literal nature of this or the blog post has started out overly dramatic.

“Here’s the thing: I lose sleep because of you. Every week.”

It is an interesting choice to reveal this after a long build up of what you really want to tell students. There seems to be an uncomfortable focus on how this all affects you, with added dramatization around giving yourself sideways compliments about how much you care/over-care for the children. Very impressive.

“The main event is learning how to deal with the harshness of life when it gets difficult.”
“It is your resilience when conquering the main event – adversity…”
“The main event is delaying your temptation and investing in your own intelligence.”

No wonder these kids don’t seem to know what the main event is, it is chameleon-like in its ability to take many forms. I do see what the intended concept of the ‘main event’ is (perseverance?) and clearly a common thread is being weaved through the different definitions provided, but I might argue it is this always moving idealized banter that frustrates students just as much as any specific academic endeavor.

“Life will let you die alone, depressed, and poor if you can’t man or woman up enough to deal with hardship. You are either the muscle or the dirt. You either take resistance and grow stronger or blow in the wind and erode.”

Ummm, okay. I feel like someone needs to be held and told, “It’s not your fault” like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wklDd8o8HFQ. I understand this blog post is about being honest, but this type of hyperbole tends to compound the issue of students feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.

I am not a teacher nor am I a school administrator. But of everyone I know, it is my teacher friends and family that provide a continuous stream of reasons why their jobs are frustrating and why they can’t do them adequately. Sometimes it’s the administration, sometimes parents, and, now, sometimes the students themselves who are the cause of this. I also tire of hearing how they only care about their students while seeing them countdown the days until their next 9 weeks off. Or how little they make (not prorating time off into annual salary).

I’ve always wondered how much more teaching would get done if complaining and finger pointing were removed from the process. Perhaps we could simply start by eliminating blog posting, replacing that with actual action and optimism in place of self-congratulations cloaked in compassion and concern.

Reply
1. Lilian
  
  May 19, 2014 at 5:38 pm
  
  You basically restated the whole thing
  
  Reply
  1. Lynn
    
    May 23, 2014 at 4:56 pm
    
    There was no need to tell us that you are not a teacher….
  2. Kevin Elzinga
    
    August 2, 2014 at 2:57 pm
    
    Here is an experiment that EVERY commenter on this site should conduct.
    
    How fairly is GOOGLE representing YOUR comments that you posted here?
    
    If you have commented on this page, (and signed your name to it) you owe it to yourself to discover how Google is representing you. Because 70% of employers use Google to screen potential employees.
    
    Feel free to do a Google search of my name, (Kevin Elzinga) and then compare these two things:
    
    The Google search SNIPPET of what I wrote here
    
    What I have ACTUALLY written here.
    
    Google has, on occasion, chosen a “snippet” from my extensive advice here and they have made it appear that I am attacking Chase in a very unprofessional manner.
    
    Any HONEST visitor to this site will see that while I am not always positive in my advice to Chase, I stay focused on the realities that a new teacher will face in the trenches…regardless of whether those realities are pleasant to discuss. Reality is reality…it does not change.
    
    Teaching is about reality, not what we want to be reality.
    
    I admit that I do not always sugar coat things, but I honestly do NOT feel as if I stoop to being petty. I think only a troll would claim that I have been petty.
    
    In fact, I frequently complement Chase for having the right attitude coming in to teaching.
    
    Yes…I challenge him to take the next step…to make sure he is actually backing up his claims to care.
    
    But Google makes it appear as if I have called Chase “a whiner”…”who has the wrong teacher friends.”
    
    To make this easier on you, CTRL -A the entire set of postings here then copy everything into Word File.
    
    Then search within that Word file for the words and “you have the wrong teacher friends”
    
    You will discover in fact, that Google hasn’t even quoted ME in their search snippet..they have quoted someone who wrote before me. And that someone was DEFENDING Chase against a troll who was being extremely rude to Chase.
    
    But who ends up looking bad after all is said and done?
    
    I do…
    
    Google could very well be doing the same thing to you. Grossly misrepresenting your comments when someone does a search of your name.
2. Ken
  
  May 21, 2014 at 1:43 am
  
  Mike, even prorating our time off doesn’t compensate for planning, conferences, and time in the school building we all spend over the summer. The author isn’t complaining, he’s expressing sincere concerns that very caring teachers face on a daily basis. If we don’t express this to the community at large, how will they know how passionate and caring we truly are? We can’t rely on news coverage of successful, over worked teachers. News channels save that spot for that one teacher who made a really stupid mistake and hit or molested a kid. We have to toot our own horns. The reason other professionals don’t feel the need to is because they make A LOT more money than we do and don’t face media scrutiny for doing their jobs or making a couple mistakes. Volunteer in a classroom for a while and see that I am correct. I volunteer in my classroom more often than I get paid.
  
  Reply
  1. Charles
    
    May 30, 2014 at 2:15 pm
    
    I agree man! Check out this blog post about teachers salaries…. It really breaks it down well! http://m.dailykos.com/story/2011/02/22/948224/-Are-you-sick-of-highly-paid-teachers
    
    Always complaining… Let me know what you think
3. anmite
  
  May 26, 2014 at 2:42 pm
  
  Mike, I entirely agree with your sentiments. I responded to this post at Linkedin (perhaps a bit harshly because of the character limit) in a similar manner. I had to edit rather aggressively (writing beyond the word limit of assignments at university was always a problem). Anyway, here in full for the benefit of Mr. C. and others is my take on his perspective.
  
  C. Mielke
  
  Sadly, like so many young counsellors at your stage of career, your missing the ‘main event’. Mark my words, if you worry that much about things over which you have no direct control, you’re not going to have a very fulfilling career in counselling. Just knowing that is unlikely to make you feel better or change your approach. I hope the following will.
  
  First a reality check. Your nocturnal distress isn’t really about the students; you’re worried about yourself. You think you’re that you’re failing in your duties and, likely, worry that others might think so, too. You are failing, but let’s not dwell on that. I offer that as constructive criticism because I care.
  
  If others have told you that counselling is all about the special knowledge and experience you have to impart, you’re sadly misled. You’re missing the ‘main event’ to think that it’s the life-planning, career strategizing, personal focus exercises, time management, personality profiling, goal setting, and ‘I-care-more-about-you-than-you-care-about-you’ arm-around-the-shoulder heart-to-hearts that matters in counselling.
  
  The ‘main event’ is the process of helping others—overcoming the indifference to your astonishing wisdom, getting students to remember (and, gosh, even act on) your sage advice, and banishing the incredulity. You think it’s their fault, when really it’s yours. You probably think that your job is to cram as much wisdom as possible into those formative but distracted brains when really counselling is about nuturing and releasing their ideas already crammed in their brains. The ‘main event’ isn’t an impotent call to action like Bluto’s in Animal House (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7vtWB4owdE) leading a charge of no one with your pencil.
  
  It will be your resilience to the evident disappointment you presently feel that will secure a positive career, not unproductive worry and sleepless nights. If you measure your success only on the immediate and individual result, things will not go well for you. Think beyond the present.
  
  You probably too much time talking at students and far too little listening and learning. You’re so preoccupied with all the knowledge and experience you have—what you’ve read on a blog or seen on an improvement video or heard at a development conference—that you’re expecting others to ‘just get it’ too. At night you’re probably wondering, “Why won’t anybody listen to me?” It’s like no one understands you. Counsellors, your age, often feel that way, so it’s okay, but writing a desperate critique of others are seems more like a capitulation on your part.
  
  The ‘main event’ isn’t the here and now. You’re too impatient. If instant impact were possible, the exercises at the end of every chapter would only have one question. Sometimes you just have to keep at a thing until you figure it out. It’s frustrating to do things that don’t seem to have any relevance in your job—like listening—but trust me you just might be surprised. Oh, and you can’t be disappointed when you do listen, that you find that the knowledge is already there.
  
  There’s a latency to information’s effect. And when it comes to young people, that latency is measured in years. Your influence might be a great deal greater than you imagine—be patient.
  
  The ‘main event’ isn’t having enthusiasm but inspiring it. Nor is it outcomes, it’s process. You might believe that your knowledge and experience is what’s important—well, it isn’t. It’s how you create the place for your wisdom in the minds of your students and the desire to receive it. You’re setting yourself up for failure by overlooking that.
  
  You’re trying to impart the very lesson that you’ve failed to learn. Your challenge is to find the means by which the information you value so highly registers with the students you presume to help. It’s not their fault that they don’t ‘get it’. As I say, how do you even know that they don’t
  already ‘have it’?
  
  The ‘main event’ isn’t persuasion, it’s about discovery and nurturing. It’s working with their truth, perceptions, and feelings, not yours. The ‘main event’ isn’t your sincerity, it’s their trust. Without that, you’re just another impatient talking-head telling them how sh*tty their life will be if they don’t listen to you—right now.
  
  The ‘main event’ in counselling is an inextinguishable optimism about life, not your doom and gloom, “you’re going to fail if you don’t…” message. If you can’t reclaim that, then you cannot help others.
  
  Recently, I won the Mature Student of the Year Award at the university I attend. I have many, many conversations with my young classmates. I’m often told that the most valuable thing I offer is reassurance and optimism, validation of their choices, beliefs and aspirations. Imagine I was sprinkling jewels onto a table before them. Some jewels are priceless and some chips of stone; I can’t tell which (a thought widely attributed but I’ll use J. C. Penney’s rueful comment that he knew half of his advertising accomplished nothing; he just didn’t know which half). The value determined by the listener and they also choose which to take up. I will never know how those jewels will be traded, when and for what, but I sincerely believe that my reward is not in what I have given, but what they have accepted. And I sleep very well knowing that.
  
  ———–
  
  Hopefully this is taken as tongue-in-cheek with a positive intention. The original post puts me in mind of a young inexperienced salesperson who, unable to close a sale, exclaims, “I’m trying really hard here, why won’t you buy?” as if his effort is the determinant of a purchasing decision.
  
  I don’t intend to be mean-spirited in my comments or in further saying that if someone is losing sleep to this extend over a job, and thinks that such a reproach would be productive, then a serious career re-evaluation is necessary. If the letter above seems condescending, my intention has been achieved. That, I believe, is how students would feel if they were to read Mr. Miekle’s letter.
  
  What I believe Mr. Miekle lacks is the right mindset for being a counsellor. In reference to the rudeness from students he has experienced, I offer the following anecdote. A friend (now a happy mother of two) was disruptively acting out in grade school. She was sent to counselling against her wishes. Each week for nearly a year, she claims, she sat in the counselling office refusing to speak or even acknowledge the counsellor. At the beginning of each session he would ask, “Is there anything you would like to talk about?” There being no response, he would sit quietly—not doing any other work, not talking, not diverting himself from her in any way. Ultimately, it was simply the amount of time they spent together in quiet contemplation (that she came to look forward to and enjoy) that dissolved her barriers and she began to talk. The counsellor had a positive mindset and believed that a good outcome would result. He was therefore patient enough and committed enough to accept the process. I would suggest that every day, Mr. Miekle respond to student rudeness with, “Good morning (or whatever). Are you going to class, today? If not, you’re always welcome to come by and talk to me about it.” Just offering that everyday is a win for Mr. Miekle. And one day that person might just show up and be ready to talk and to listen.
  
  Reply
  1. malalexis
    
    May 27, 2014 at 6:49 am
    
    Good thing he is an English teacher and not a counselor…..and the best one at the school he teaches at for that matter…
  2. malalexis
    
    May 27, 2014 at 6:55 am
    
    I think you are missing the ‘main event’ considering he isn’t a counselor. Oh well. Maybe if you re read the post, keeping in mind he is a high school English teacher, you wouldn’t have so many harsh things to say. Just a thought.
4. Gregg Gundy
  
  May 26, 2014 at 7:21 pm
  
  Sir, you don’t have a clue…….and you have the wrong teacher friends .and you are whining about people whining.
  
  Reply
5. Kevin Elzinga
  
  May 31, 2014 at 5:32 pm
  
  I hope Mr. Mielke will nbt delete my comment.
  
  Mr. McDougal:
  
  Being from the older generation of teachers, I share some of your sentiments when it comes to learning in today’s schools. I worry that actual instruction has been replaced by cheerleading…which CAN be effective if properly applied to lessons.
  
  However, the goal and intent of the lesson can not be lost by all the cheering. That is VERY important.
  
  Sometimes, boring is necessary. To preserve the profession itself and to maintain the proper separation between student and teacher.
  
  Boring prevents adolescent amusement from turning into adolescent crushes. If a teacher is particularly attractive, then it becomes even more critical to stay on task and be less exciting.
  
  I have seen this time and time and time again in the schools. Fun replacing actual instruction. There is a CRITICAL distinction between fun and actual learning.
  
  That distinction has been further blurred by mass media hoping to entertain us at every turn.
  
  Even students eventually will sense that something is wrong if there is too much cheering and not enough learning.
  
  And that is when a teacher is most vulnerable to unfair accusations from parents AND from students.
  
  Reply
  1. Kevin Elzinga
    
    June 1, 2014 at 12:55 am
    
    I want to be clear. I think Mr. Mielke has a LOT of the right ideas.
    
    However, in the end, the best teachers learn to rely more on their fellow colleagues to get the job done. I admire Mr. Mielke’s youthful enthusiasm, but the fact that he is losing sleep suggests that he is trying too hard to do everything on his own. Either that or he is only now becoming aware of just how awesome his responsibility really is.
    
    I had to learn this lesson when I was young too so I hope he is not taking offense.
    
    I have slept a LOT easier in the past few years, in part, BECAUSE I have reached out to the cooperative colleagues around me. When I run into a kid who I cannot handle, I make sure to send him or her to someone who can handle him or her. When I do this I can TRUST that I won’t get a lecture from these colleagues or a sarcastic roll of their eyes.
    
    They are mature enough to know AND accept that certain personalities are like oil and water.
    
    The worst schools are those in which the administrators and faculty members INSIST that every teacher stands alone…accountable for EVERYTHING that happens whether it is the teacher’s fault or not. The ones in which there is neither an I nor a U in TEAM. There is simply no TEAM at all to refer to.
    
    Kids have opinions too and some of them HATE the cheerful approach because it comes across as NOT REAL enough. I no longer try to fight this attitude. I accept it and I seek out people who are willing to help me resolve the conflict. For the sake of EVERYONE.
    
    Hey if a kid would rather hang with a teacher who goes to a shooting range regularly, who am I to tell him he cannot? Who am I to tell him that he MUST endure my more whimsical approach to learning? Sure I may try to modify my lesson when talking to certain kids, but some kids are as hard-headed as the parents who are raising them. Once they form an opinion, they never change their opinion. No sense in beating one’s head against a rock.
    
    The sooner a teacher and a school accepts that certain personalities can never mix, the better off EVERYONE is in the long run.
6. Marty
  
  June 3, 2014 at 3:16 am
  
  Pretty evident you aren’t a teacher Mike McDougal- because non-teachers are the ones who know every solution to teaching issues right? Your dissection was weak at best and makes you seem like a self-righteous ass.
  
  I too have wondered how much more teaching would get done if complaining and finger pointing were removed from the process. Parents complaining that their kids don’t get enough attention in class, in class of 30 and higher – yet can’t be bothered to show up to Parent-Teacher to figure out how they can help their child learn.
  
  Parents complaining about Teachers getting 9 weeks off. Where is this 9 weeks off? I’ve never seen it. Most summers where students are not in class are spent in Professional Development. Learning the new technologies to help teach students – and often taking University classes to learn more about topics that make them better teachers.
  
  Society complaining about how much better they could do Teacher’s jobs then teachers. Everyone went to elementary school – therefore everyone knows how to teach. Its the same thing as going to the doctor and suddenly being a fully capable physician.
  
  Parents pointing fingers when a student fails. “My son/daughter must have failed because the teacher didn’t do their job and didn’t teach them anything.” Okay, maybe – or, here’s a brilliant thought. Maybe your child failed because of the 48 absences they had from class. Or the 16 projects that they didn’t hand in. Or, perhaps it was, the fact that on the final essay, all the teacher got was a line.
  
  Perhaps instead of criticizing a teacher who obviously cares about their students, you could learn what it takes to be a teacher – because you obviously have no idea.
  
  I wonder why teachers became teachers anyway Mike – haven’t you ever wondered? I mean – dealing with anywhere from 30 – 300 kids all day long depending on their grade level and subject. On top of that – they have the absolute luxury of getting all of their evenings free to sit and home and correct student work. And on top of all that free time there’s that huge paycheck….what is it like….40 000 a year? Jeeze puts em just slightly above that poverty line. Sign me up.
  
  Reply
  1. Amy Barber
    
    June 4, 2014 at 3:21 am
    
    Marty, You must teach the same students I do…
    I appreciate the article, and fully concur!
  2. Amy Barber
    
    June 4, 2014 at 3:24 am
    
    Marty, You must teach the same students I do. I totally concur and I appreciate the article. Well said.
7. Kevin Elzinga
  
  August 1, 2014 at 3:45 pm
  
  Here is an experiment that EVERY commenter on this site should conduct.
  
  How fairly is GOOGLE representing YOUR comments that you posted here?
  
  Check often because they are rather coy in how they do things.
  
  One day you might appear to be very unprofessional, the next day…oops…did we make you look unprofessional…HEAVENS NO!
  
  If you have commented on this page, (and signed your name to it) you owe it to yourself to discover how Google is representing you. Because 70% of employers use Google to screen potential employees.
  
  Feel free to do a Google search of my name, (Kevin Elzinga) and then compare these two things:
  
  The Google search SNIPPET of what I wrote here
  
  What I have ACTUALLY written here.
  
  Google has, on occasion, chosen a “snippet” from my extensive advice here and they have made it appear that I am attacking Chase in a very unprofessional manner.
  
  Any HONEST visitor to this site will see that while I am not always positive in my advice to Chase, I stay focused on the realities that a new teacher will face in the trenches…regardless of whether those realities are pleasant to discuss. Reality is reality…it does not change.
  
  Teaching is about reality, not what we want to be reality.
  
  I admit that I do not always sugar coat things, but I honestly do NOT feel as if I stoop to being petty. I think only a troll would claim that I have been petty.
  
  In fact, I frequently complement Chase for having the right attitude coming in to teaching.
  
  Yes…I challenge him to take the next step…to make sure he is actually backing up his claims to care.
  
  But Google makes it appear as if I have called Chase “a whiner”…”who has the wrong teacher friends.”
  
  To make this easier on you, CTRL -A the entire set of postings here then copy everything into Word File.
  
  Then search within that Word file for the words, “whiner” and “you have the wrong teacher friends”
  
  You will discover in fact, that Google hasn’t even quoted ME in their search snippet..they have quoted someone who wrote before me. And that someone was DEFENDING Chase against a troll who was being extremely rude to Chase.
  
  But who ends up looking bad after all is said and done?
  
  I do…
  
  Google could very well be doing the same thing to you. Grossly misrepresenting your comments when someone does a search of your name.
  
  Reply
brandon ward

May 9, 2014 at 9:32 pm

great thoughts. thanks so much for sharing them. and i like your voice, too. great style.

Reply
blit2014hscjourneyblog

May 10, 2014 at 1:58 am

Reblogged this on blit2014hscjourneyblog and commented:
This makes me feel like any effort or any struggles I have facing my final year of high school much more worth it.

Reply
glenn2point0

May 10, 2014 at 2:57 am

Reblogged this on glenn2point0 and commented:
A thoughtful and thought provoking post.

Reply
glenn2point0

May 10, 2014 at 2:57 am

Very thoughtful and thought provoking.

Reply
missashleyburris

May 10, 2014 at 7:42 am

Reblogged this on *The World Through My Eyes* and commented:
Good thoughts, I’m glad I had some amazing teachers like this guy who were willing to go the extra mile.

Reply
Robin Bee Owens

May 10, 2014 at 3:03 pm

Shared this. It is perfect for everyone, everywhere. Not just the student. Kudos to you. We need more teachers like you in our classrooms.

Reply
ClandestineCandle

May 11, 2014 at 5:03 pm

I failed an engineering course two times….in a row! Failing the class meant that I had to wait an entire year in order to repeat the class. Since I had an entire year, I decided to enroll in computer networking technology. I now have TWO degrees instead of one. Failing that class and persevering despite the odds was the best thing that ever happened to me. My professor saw that I spent all night in lab working on circuits and recommended me for full-time position. I put in my resume and got a call back within 2.5 hours! Two years later, I am still working at the same place and I love just about every minute of it. 😀

Thank you for your post.

Reply
asiaannmarie

May 11, 2014 at 7:27 pm

Loved this article! As an aspiring educator it’s nice to see teacher who aren’t afraid if being politically incorrect.

Reply
richieorido17

May 11, 2014 at 9:11 pm

I am a college student and this post sums up the issues I have been struggling with. As much as I mostly get good grades, I haven’t fully learned how to be responsible around not only my academics but also my social life and habits. Reading this post has left me feeling encouraged that I can better myself and the everyday decisions I make. The post and its comments have made me understand better the position that my professors are in and why they seem to have given up on us students.

Reply
richieorido17

May 11, 2014 at 9:25 pm

I am a college student and this post sums up the issues I have been challenged with. I mostly get good grades but I haven’t fully learned how to be responsible around not only my academics but my social life and habits. Reading this post has left me feeling encouraged and I want to better myself not only as a student but also as a human being and a member of society generally. I don’t want to end up as just another young person who wasted his youth when I can use this time to build myself. This post and its comments has also made me better understand the position that my professors are in and why they seem to have given up.

Reply
mccallk69

May 12, 2014 at 1:16 am

Reblogged this on Outchea 4 Skewl and commented:
My daughter starts college in the Fall. I could not help but reblog this. Major kudos to author – C. Mielke

Reply
Msmoorepr

May 12, 2014 at 5:58 am

Reblogged this on There's Moore To It and commented:
This post is utterly Amazing and so Unbelievably true. MUST READ.

Reply
awlog6

May 12, 2014 at 8:21 am

Wow. As a student in the last year of secondary school, this is really motivating to read. Good on you for this. And thank you.

Reply
alexandraflores711

May 12, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Reblogged this on augojrf and commented:
i am also a student and this inspired me. thank you

Reply
boosisis

May 12, 2014 at 8:59 pm

You would work good inspiring people to work hard for their goals…& profit for themselves…www.sfi4.com/13526820/FREE

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Susan

May 12, 2014 at 11:33 pm

Great stuff; going to read it or email it to students.

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Susan

May 12, 2014 at 11:43 pm

Not only great for students; some teachers could take a page out of your book as well. There are some great teachers, and then there are some really, really bad ones that should not be in the job but don’t want to be retrained. Those teachers are the students’ loss and exponentially society’s loss. And I never would have made a comment like that until today. Until now I have rarely had a negative experience with a teacher. Suffice to say a teacher really needs to be a people person; if not in it for the students as C. Mielke is, please, don’t do it!

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Scoobie Chen

May 13, 2014 at 8:14 am

i’m blessed because i am able to read this in my lecturer’s voice.

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Jeremy Hyler

May 13, 2014 at 4:47 pm

Reblogged this on jeremyhyler40 and commented:
An interesting read!

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kristinamberberry

May 14, 2014 at 3:16 am

THANK YOU. Those reasons alone are why I still believe that public education is needed. It’s like you read my thoughts and wrote them down perfectly. Again, thank you for such a poignant editorial piece! I am definitely going to make sure this gets shared!

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Nance

May 14, 2014 at 3:33 am

This is inspirational and should be shared with incoming freshman, and repeated for the sophomores, juniors and seniors. Beautifully written and obviously heartfelt.

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joyblisshippielove

May 14, 2014 at 3:42 am

Reblogged this on joyblisshippielove.

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As Far as Education Goes… | Trueblue Magazine

May 14, 2014 at 1:01 pm

[…] To direct your attention to a man who can say what I’m trying to say much, much more clearly, I now direct you to the blog of Mr. Chase Mielke. Seriously, go read this: What Students Really Need To Hear. […]

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Micha Fenom

May 14, 2014 at 6:35 pm

As a parent I soooooooo LOVE you!! THANK YOU

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Kevin Elzinga

May 14, 2014 at 9:26 pm

PLEASE READ THIS POST IF YOU WISH TO BE A GREAT TEACHER.

********************************************************************************
Как вы понимаете, что я пишу здесь? Да или нет?

Как часто вы смотрите на ваши планы уроков?
*******************************************************************************

Are you annoyed that I wrote that in Russian? I am sorry…but you DID say this:

“You see, the main event of school is not academic learning. It never has been. It never will be. ”

I went through this phase too when i was your age.

What you wrote above is a common assertion made by a young teacher who is being challenged by his or her students. They are demanding answers from you and you are struggling to find them.

If you couldn’t read the Russian above, then you are getting a small taste of what it was like to be learning in middle school or high school. Students are getting assailed by all sorts of new vocabulary and their brains are having difficulty processing it all.

Are your lesson plans clear to the students?

If you do not know, ASK them if your lessons are clear.

I think you will be shocked to find out how many students are frustrated with you, but DO NOT be angry at them if they are frustrated with you.

Let them tell you what they are having trouble with.

Let them have a say.

It is one thing to write a lesson plan that YOU understand.

Это совсем другая вещь, чтобы написать план урока, что ваши студенты понимают.

I am sorry…let me translate…

It is quite another thing to write a lesson plan that your students understand.

Focus on teaching them first and it will become clear to your students that you care. You won’t have to tell them out loud. They will know simply because they are finally learning from you.

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Kevin Elzinga

May 14, 2014 at 9:46 pm

A couple years from now, when you look back at your assertion:

…… that the main event of school is NOT learning….

…. you will be able to see how I concluded what I did about your situation.

I would be willing to bet that your students are giving you quite a bit of grief or that they are manipulating you into taking school days off.

You are dressed in a suit and tie, but your hair is a little bit unkempt.

You are slightly unshaven.

Without knowing it, your post comes across as a plea to your students to cooperate with you. You want them to know that you care and you are hoping that this speech will motivate them to follow you, but, I hate to tell you this, it won’t.

Everything that you have written and posted here I recognize as signs of a new teacher on the verge of drowning in an ocean of poorly planned lessons.

Save the “I care” speech for later…when your lessons are more understandable, your students will respect you AND care about you.

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1. Kevin Elzinga
  
  May 14, 2014 at 9:50 pm
  
  Well…MOST of your students will care about you and respect you when you get your lessons in order.
  
  There are always going to be a few that you can never reach…no matter how hard you try.
  
  But be absolutely sure that you ARE trying.
  
  REALLY trying.
  
  Reply
  1. Ly
    
    May 15, 2014 at 12:28 pm
    
    You are very rude. Opinions of all kinds are valued and appreciated (beauty of America). But this comment is not encouraging, helpful, respectful, or valuable. Perhaps your feedback would be better if you asked those around you whether or not they understand what you are saying, just like you advised this author. Feedback is necessary, but only if it fosters change and leaves a positive emotional wake. Otherwise, the advice-giver comes off arrogant, disinterested, and inconsiderate. Whether or not he is a new teacher has nothing to do with this. Respect needs to be taught to a lot of youth, regardless of how many years you have been teaching. So, please, show some respect to the teachers that are still in the trenches, trying to leave this world just a little bit better than when they came into it. It is a hard job. As a high school teacher in a rough neighborhood city school, I appreciate his comments.
  2. Kevin Elzinga
    
    May 17, 2014 at 8:30 am
    
    I acknowledge that my post is a little rude…but you read it didn’t you?
    
    If it hadn’t been for a teacher who was a little rude with me when I was having trouble managing a classroom BECAUSE my lessons were unclear, I wouldn’t have learned what I needed to know to manage the classroom WITHOUT a lot of stress.
    
    He admits that he is stressing about his students. Why?
    
    They are probably being rude to him…either by ignoring him or even mocking him.
    
    I know that I used to lose sleep when I sensed that I was being mocked or ignored.
    
    It is already clear that he cares, but if he were actually accomplishing what he needed to, he would NOT be stressing about them. He wouldn’t be tossing and turning at 4 am in the morning. He would be sleeping quite well.
    
    There… is …no …better… feeling …in the world when a lesson plan goes smoothly and the majority of the kids UNDERSTAND.
    
    Nearly all behavior problems in a classroom can be traced to a lack of understanding on the part of the students; whether it is not understanding the content or not understanding the intent of the lesson.
    
    The truth can be rude, but if it helps make you a better person or a better teacher, it is worth listening to. I know I am glad I listened to the teacher who was “rude” with me. He made me a much better teacher.
    
    Someone has to be brave enough to tell the truth when it needs to be said.
    
    Sadly, any feedback at all now is perceived as rude. I am at the age where I no longer care if I am PERCEIVED as rude. The stakes are too high.
    
    The truth is, if he fails at teaching the kids what they need to know, the PARENTS of his students are going to be FAR ruder to him than I am.
    
    I hope he listens to me. Compassion is very important in teaching…and he has compassion by the buckets. But now he has to focus on making his lessons clear and relevant.
    
    Classroom Caboodle is a good resource.
Valerio

May 15, 2014 at 5:39 pm

Hi Chase,
Thank you for sharing these words. I often share with my students inspirational ideas or quotations or essays to prompt disucssion and to inspire their own writing and learning process. Recently, after being discouraged myself, I shared your essay with my students who were moved by your words. I think that a lot of them don’t realize how much energy is devoted to them on their teacher’s behalf and how much we actually do care, or why else do we do this job? I joked with them and explained that I wish I had come up with this myself (I, too, lose sleep thinking about my students from time to time). I assigned poetry to my Writer’s Craft students who, as part of their collection, had to write and perform a choral poem. One group decided to write a poem in response to your essay and I would like to share it with you as a thank you for helping me inspire my students (a fire was lit!). However, I do not wish to share the poem on such an open forum. Is there any way that I can contact you privately through e-mail so that I may share this with you directly? I tried looking for an e-mail address attached to your posts or blog, but there isn’t one.
Thank you, kindly!

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1. chasemielke
  
  May 15, 2014 at 10:38 pm
  
  How cool! I’m so glad to hear that the post stirred some thoughts. I would LOVE to see the poems. You can reach me at cmielke@plainwellschools.org. Can’t wait!
  
  Reply
Jacinta

May 16, 2014 at 12:17 pm

My science teacher showed us this to read and to take in. Because this sums up her feelings and half of our actions. I’ve realised that the quitting part is me, in just bits and pieces and being a perfectionist at heart it doesn’t help. This letter broke me and helped me both at once and I don’t know if that’s a good thing yet… burnout kinda sucks and yea.. But very inspirational words that I now have close to my heart.

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RossK

May 16, 2014 at 2:12 pm

What Chase is really addressing here is the Coach,Teacher, Instructor paradigm. Since Instruction has effectively been removed from the school system by court decisions and through “political correctness” (not necessarily negative) the systems that continue to ignore this reality by instead enacting “limited” instruction models will continue to fail and continue to damage the teaching profession and children both.

Embracing Teaching as the most effective way to promote learning across the broadest cross section of the population should have been already accomplished by schools and school boards.

A Teacher who is empowered to teach Algebra versus being restricted to instructing it, allows all children in a classroom an opportunity for success. The Teacher today with access to YouTube can teach Algebra using 20 different instruction methods to 20 different children all at the same time and is a massive financial benefit to the system.

The Teacher’s primary function then becomes teaching students “not to quit” when one instruction model does not work for them. They teach “never quitting” because a solution to your problems are always available.

BTW I am not a school teacher.

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1. Kevin Elzinga
  
  August 1, 2014 at 8:45 am
  
  Ross, I like your observations. For someone not associated with the educational field, you have valuable insight.
  
  To Chase, I will say this…you are on the right track by having compassion, but compassion alone does not make one an effective teacher.
  
  I recently saw an advertisement for the movie Dangerous Minds with Michelle Pfeiffer.
  
  It is a pretty good film and it does a fairly good job of capturing the challenges that inner city teachers must face. Michelle Pfieffer’s character eventually won the kids over and was able to help many of them achieve their goals.
  
  Is the film based on a true story? I am not sure. Is it Hollywood’s conception of inner city schools?
  
  Absolutely. There are a few casual liberties taken with reality.
  
  So….
  
  Why do I bring this up?
  
  Well….
  
  There was a very “telling” scene in the movie where one of the students looked Michelle Pfieffer’s character in the eye with VERY intense sincerity and he said to her,
  
  “You better be for real!”
  
  That scene really spoke to me. I know from my own personal experience that troubled kids DO think this way but they may not have the courage to tell you.
  
  In fact, pretty much EVERY child will have this opinion of you as a teacher even if they are too afraid to tell you to your face.
  
  Sometimes what you THINK is working in a classroom is actually the absolute LAST thing you want to be doing in the classroom.
  
  If you SAY that you care for your students but you don’t back up that claim with lessons that help them succeed, you are letting your students down and yourself down.
  
  You have to cope with what is there…not with what you WANT to be there.
  
  I have a saying:
  
  You can have high expectations for children and that is fine…
  
  but….
  
  ….if you don’t give them the tools to get over that high bar, you are failing as a teacher.
  
  When you ante up, by saying that you care, you better have the cards to show your students that you REALLY DO CARE or eventually they will dismiss pretty much everything that you say.
  
  “You better be for real.”
  
  Will you have 100% success? No. The extremely sad reality is that some kids are too far gone by high school to help them significantly. That is not to say there aren’t a few Hail Mary’s every year where a student turns everything around and becomes a success.
  
  But there is only so much YOU as one individual can do to help a child that is in 11th grade but can only read at a 3rd grade level (if even that).
  
  That reality in itself is terrifying to the child, but often the child is so afraid of his peers that he gives up on school work to impress THEM and not you.
  
  It is working with THAT reality (the reality of what the CHILD knows and is capable of knowing at any given moment) that determines your success as a teacher.
  
  You can’t just point to the mirage on the horizon that looks very promising to both you AND your students and say, “Let’s DO this!” but then shy away from improving your lessons and your contacts.
  
  If you see only the mirage of what they can be, but no idea how to help them reach that mirage you are putting yourself in a very precarious position both professionally and, sometimes, even personally.
  
  When I work in a “troubled” district, I do everything in my power to stay grounded in the realities that surround me.
  
  Do I want to be an inspiration? Of course!
  
  Do I ignore the realities of what I am often dealing with?
  
  No.
  
  Do I like it that I occasionally see parents so ruthless with their children that they practically break their child’s arm as they are dragging their children home?
  
  No!
  
  Do I recognize that this REALITY…for the child…is going to influence my ability to teach the child?
  
  Yes.
  
  Do I like it that some children are growing up in households that are routinely affiliated with crime?
  
  HELL NO!
  
  Do I recognize how this REALITY is going to affect my classroom when the child is present?
  
  YES!
  
  And it would be very foolish NOT to recognize these realities .
  
  It would be foolish to pretend that if you ignore these realities that they will somehow “magically” go away.
  
  Do I like it that some kids are facing tremendous pressure from their peers to steal from you and your classmates?
  
  ABSOLUTELY NOT!
  
  Do I recognize the REALITY of this situation?
  
  Yes! And I take very subtle and QUIET precautions to address these realities.
  
  I’ve actually run into a few new teachers who DON’T recognize this reality and they leave their own keys and the keys to the school on the desk in the classroom….ALL DAY!
  
  It is just as reckless to approach the learning process in this manner.
  
  If you are using language that sounds like Russian to your students, it is your duty as a teacher to “translate” for them so that they have at least SOME chance of getting the lesson done.
  
  If you shrug off that responsibility to them, guess who these…um…more…”nimble” kids are going to target first?
  
  YOU…and any other teacher who is rumored to be “a poser”.
  
  Someone who says he cares, but can’t back up those claims with concrete and visible ATTEMPTS to care.
  
  Do I want to trust everyone?
  
  YES! OF COURSE!
  
  Should I trust everyone?
  
  The sad reality is…No….as much as you may WANT to… you can’t.
  
  CLEARLY, you do NOT want to openly BROADCAST this mistrust, but you can’t be naïve enough to ignore it either.
  
  I do as much as I can to help my students when I can and when I reach the limits of my own personal expertise, I try to find someone who has more expertise than I have.
  
  I’ve even been known to ask STUDENTS in advanced classes to cover for me if I am unsure that I can teach authoritatively on a subject matter.
  
  If their other teachers are OK with these advanced students coming by to teach the underclassmen…
  
  HEY! That is AWESOME!
  
  These are concrete and very visible attempts to back up your claims that you care.
  
  Once you put these plans into motion, you will rest a little easier at night knowing that you have competent plans and people at work….keeping you and your students safe from some of the harms that they will inevitably face as adults..
  
  Reply
collinsmls

May 16, 2014 at 3:09 pm

Reblogged this on notablelibrarian and commented:
Oh, how we love their potential. Thank you for expressing it so eloquently.

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Kevin Elzinga

May 17, 2014 at 8:38 am

It is one thing to write a lesson that YOU the teacher understand…

It is quite another thing to write a lesson that your students understand.

That is the TRUE challenge and purpose of teaching.

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Julie

May 18, 2014 at 11:01 am

Thank you for your post!
I get so tired of seeing students who have a learned helplessness and who don’t take pride in themselves to devote time and energy to improving themselves.
There are so many challenges in the classroom these days but I find I am still often surprised by the difference in attitude of the students from twenty years ago.
Now students tend to find excuses and the catch phrase: “when will I actually use this” resonates through many math classes and English classes, among others, throughout our schools.
I’ve often felt that many problems in the classroom stem from a lack of respect and responsibility. Students who haven’t been taught respect at home don’t respond with respect at school. And this generation is growing up in a society in which many believe they have “rights” without any responsibility. These beliefs and understandings make for a difficult time in the classroom.
To the naysayers and critics of this article, walk a day in the shoes of an educator before being so negative and presumptuous. Experiences in different regions, different countries, and different socio-economic areas are all unique and present their own challenges that are not to be taken lightly.
Thank you, C Mielke, for a refreshing post!

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ancientfolklore

May 18, 2014 at 3:38 pm

Reblogged this on 絶望ヒーロー and commented:
I needed this.

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prabalraja

May 18, 2014 at 7:34 pm

Sir, I have a website named http://www.bbposts.in . There I publish stories, articles from new users and for people who are having blogs, we publish half of th article or poem and then give links to them to the original blog. It will be a great help for me if you allow me to publish half of your articles and give the readers a link to your blog.
You can mail me at prabal2112@gmail.com

Reply
1. chasemielke
  
  June 23, 2014 at 7:53 pm
  
  So sorry I took so long to respond! Post whatever you like 🙂
  
  Reply
  1. prabalraja
    
    June 24, 2014 at 2:57 pm
    
    that’s great….bt just need somethings for “about the author” part…please mail me at postsbb@gmail.com as I don’t have your mail address….
wderuve

May 19, 2014 at 1:07 pm

Reblogged this on Mr. De Ruve and commented:
I couldn’t agree more. I have spent many restless nights wondering if my students will really be prepared to be self sufficient productive citizens in our world. I sometimes have my doubts, but as a second career teacher for 15 years, my goal is to never stop trying. Great post.

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maysmaher

May 20, 2014 at 3:26 pm

Reblogged this on maismaher and commented:
Wish all professors could read this

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What Students Really Need to Hear | huizhi's

May 20, 2014 at 3:33 pm

[…] What Students Really Need to Hear. […]

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What my participants really need to hear. | Outrun By Entropy

May 20, 2014 at 6:04 pm

[…] was inspired after reading a post by teacher, coach, and writer, Chase Mielke, called What Students Really Need to Hear. He says, look, I know you might think school is pointless right now, but there will be main […]

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stunningbrownie

May 20, 2014 at 6:09 pm

Reblogged this on stunningbrownie.

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betstravelsabout

May 21, 2014 at 9:22 pm

A wonderful article. Your students should be so lucky to have you as their teacher. I can relate to what you feel having been a teacher myself at one time.

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smcochrane

May 23, 2014 at 11:58 am

Reblogged this on slowboat2china and commented:
This is EXACTLY what I needed to say at this moment in my teaching career.

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What Students Really Need to Hear | The Life Study

May 24, 2014 at 2:37 am

[…] What Students Really Need to Hear. […]

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morganstriplets

May 25, 2014 at 5:42 pm

First off, let me give you some background on me. I’m 21 years old, I dropped out of high school, and as a teenager was very rebellious and hated everything. When I got arrested at 16, a few weeks before I turned 17, the officer told me that if I were 17, I would have gone straight to jail and they wouldn’t be obligated to call my parents. Somehow this made me want to grow the hell up and get my life straight. I am now a pretty mature adult with a crappy job and 4 dogs who are my life (which has made me incredibly responsible.)

All that being said, had I not been arrested and terrified into maturity, I would probably be that same butt head rebellious kid.

However, had I read this as a teenager, I think it would have done just the same for me. You SHOULD show this to your students, every teacher should. Sometimes a kid just needs to know that someone does care enough and wants them to succeed in life.

I’m only 21, but I’m already realizing how hard life really is. I would give almost anything to go back to when I was 14, make good grades, not skip school, not do drugs, not steal, etc because my life would be a tad bit more bearable.

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What Students Should Know | The WoMom

May 28, 2014 at 3:43 am

[…] am reblogging this from AffectiveLiving. I hope this will remind students of the real deal why they are in school at the same time inspire […]

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Victor

May 28, 2014 at 3:03 pm

I love this. Thanks

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fashionableninjaturtles

May 30, 2014 at 6:39 am

Reblogged this on Entrancing Days.

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Amy

May 30, 2014 at 8:04 pm

Mr. Mielke,

I am a teacher from a small high school in Wisconsin. Many of my staff members and myself read your writing and were really moved by it. I am wondering if you would give us permission to use your words, obviously giving you credit for your work. Can we use your words and make a video to show to our students? Thank you.

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1. chasemielke
  
  May 31, 2014 at 12:31 am
  
  Of course!
  
  Reply
Kevin Elzinga

May 31, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Chase,

I just want you to know that I do respect what you do in spite of my hard advice. It is good that you care. That is a HUGE part of being a good teacher. But be sure that you are actually teaching them.

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